Through Smoke and Screen

Click! click!
Scrolling and scrolling… mindless liking.
My eyes, red and burning from the constant screen light.
How long ago was it when I first woke up?
The time at the corner of my screen read too many hours past my bedtime.

A strange weight pulled my smile down.
Was it guilt? Regret? Or just exhaustion?
As reality dug through my senses, strong fumes reached my nose,
different from the usual reeking scent of old milk and the colorful array of spills on the carpet floor.
I remained emotionless—numb to care, numb to worry.

“It’s too much work!” a voice cried out from the deep echoes of the dark.
It was right. Scrolling was easier. Forgetting was easier.
My eyes danced back across my screen.
Moving objects brought excitement and laughter.
I was weirdly hypnotized by the fast-moving shots.
Strangers piqued my interest as I fixated on them putting on makeup and combing their hair.

Then the smell returned stronger. It filled my lungs,
clouding my head with its scent.
It was familiar, reminding me of hot summer days and parties,
pictures and yard games.
The memory of the unforgettable taste of grilled meat and veggies made my mouth water,
but I wanted to forget.
I didn’t want to go back, so I ignored it all.

I opened the comments, feeling the rush,
the hard collision between supporters and haters.
Terms like “Sigma” and “Cringe” seemed to be the only language I understood
as another comment fight started.

But when pictures of friends popped up, I stopped laughing.
Perfect lives, perfect people—red and black clouded my head.
Nevertheless, I liked it and moved on.

The fire that once lived in my soul

Hungry for more was cooled.

It was flattened out and turned to ash.

How long ago was it when I last touched grass?
Cold burrowed its home in my heart as I found myself
hating a person I’d never met.
The heat from the screen burned my flesh as I aimlessly scrolled again.

I got good at reading people based on posts—
who was a cat person who loved Harry Potter fanfics,
compared to a dog lover who worshipped video game characters.
To me, there was nothing more to a person than their posts.
It was who they were and nothing more.

My bright room, once filled with printed pics of friends,
posters of favorite bands,
tables of abandoned projects,
was now turned into something of the past.

Orange light peeked through my door,
engulfing the dark.
Random clothes lay all over the floor,
starting to turn black.
The red, white, yellow, and orange bled into the walls,
dancing around my bed.

It took a while for the panic to register.
I watched as the flames grew bigger.
The heat reddened my skin.
My eyes widened in horror.

Then it struck me like a lightning bolt.
Using the last 10% of battery life I had left,
I dialed 9-1-1.

But the roaring of the flames burning through everything in their path
made me accept my fate… toast.
I tried smashing the window,
but the glass wouldn’t break.

Closing my eyes, I let the heat crawl closer.
Memories of laughter and forgotten dreams replayed in my mind.
It hit me then—what had I truly done with my time?

As the fire consumed my world, I realized
it wasn’t the flames that scared me.
It was the emptiness.

Water dripped from my face.
I thought of those I would lose,
when I realized I had already lost them.
I lost the things that mattered,
wasted the new opportunities that came my way

Sitting hopelessly, I was more than ready
to give in and let everything go
when they came with their heavy boots and pounding footsteps
They scooped me up and took me out,
and I cried in their arms.

They thought it was the fire,
but it was more—more than I could ever describe in words.

When the cold air finally touched my bones,
I opened my eyes again,
feeling the clean air make its way through my polluted soul.

A week later, sitting in my front yard,
feeling the dewy grass under my soft hands,
I relived the yells of others,
Their urgency is a strange contrast to my calm.

A mix of a nightmare and peace washed over me,
a reminder of how close I came to losing it all.
But this wasn’t an end—it was the start.

For the first time in ages, the world outside my screen felt alive.
I noticed the cool breeze brushing my skin,
the birds singing their morning songs,
the laughter of my friends calling me back to them.

A smile crept onto my face as I joined them,
each step grounding me, each laugh pulling me back.

We drove somewhere far, far away,
our voices filling the air with stories and dreams,
the glow of our shared moments brighter than any screen.

It wasn’t just about making up for lost time.
It was about choosing to live,
to cherish what I almost let slip away,
and to finally let the warmth of life—not the heat of regret—
fill my heart.