Forever and ever there is someplace you can fly to. There is a home for you, waiting patiently. All you have to do is find it. There is always a person who is by your side, who will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on. All you have to do is find him/her. Your future is unknown, your past is forgotten, your present is what you want to be. There is a power inside us all. Shining brighter and brighter. All you have to do is activate it. It may take years or maybe just a few days, but in the end, you will find it. You are who you want yourself to be. You can do great things if you wish to. I can’t know your future but all I can say is that sad days will come. Off days and gloomy ones will happen but all you have to do is be strong, and accept what happened even if it is hard to do so. Know your mistakes and move forward. Tomorrow is a brand new start. I will tell you life is not all puppies and rainbows, even though I wish it was. It is an obstacle course. Sometimes you’ll wobble and other times you will find balance. Sometimes you will fall and get back up. But in the end, we all know that you have achieved a lot.
The wind blew The cold lake ripples There is silence My mind was empty I had been running for miles. And still, it was hopeless I sit still by this lake calling your name But it is hopeless You are no longer in this world where you and I first met You are far away, where lost things go You are waiting for me In a place where misplaced things go I will find you soon You are not gone Your memory is forever Though I may not be able to see you You are there, There, where lost things go You are there smiling You are there happy Watching me learn from times when I fail You are there where forgotten things go A place full of lost, broken things You are there and I need to know no more
The wind blew, making my hair go haywire as the waves of the water below carried a small boat. In the hurry of the day I lost someone so precious, so wonderful, so cherished that my mind began to go wandering far into the blue-green ocean. I could not hear the gossip and chattering of the voices that surrounded me. All I saw was darkness, and I felt like I was drowning in untouched waters, gasping for air, screaming for help but no one can hear. And if I ever would make it out alive, no one will understand the pain, the amount of fear and terror I bore. No one will know how it feels to feel so weak that you think your soul is going to leave your body. Tears fell from my eyes but no one noticed them. They say they know how it feels, but do they? They say that they have your back but do they? Because if they did, where are they now when I needed them most? I stayed quiet the whole way back from the funeral location, my eyes were glossy. I moved and looked like I was hypnotized for the next following days at least that’s what they told me. They told me for a few days/weeks it will feel weird and depressing, the internet told me it would be like that for 6 months and after that, everything will go back to normal. Like with everything they were wrong. Normal? What is normal without the person you love with your whole heart? How normal is normal if a whole chunk of your life is missing? As I walked down the street, people would whisper, look at me in pity. But I ignored them. Usually in movies, this is the part where the person gives up on living and takes up bad habits but my life was not a movie. I would go through the motions of daily life and then at precisely 6 o’clock I would head to the beach and stare at the water. Just stare as memories flood my mind, how can someone I was hearing and interacting with just a few months ago disappear? I was mad, I was angry. How could the universe take something away from me that was more valuable than gold? Some days I felt weak and powerless, and others I felt like screaming and cursing at the top of my lungs. But no matter how I felt each day would end with me crying my heart out. I didn’t feel like smiling, eating, or going out with friends knowing that the person I thought would be with me forever was gone. I still lived though because many were relying on me like relied on the very person that drifted away from me. As time went on, I learned to live with this empty spot in my heart, I learned to laugh even though deep inside I was crying. I learned to be myself again without the person that kept me going. When people asked as they do, I would share our story. I am old now, my hair is gray, I am close to breathing my last breath, and I find comfort in this because soon I will meet the person I miss so deeply. Nothing is forever even sadness.
I peered out my window as the person in the seat nearby settled into his seat. I was so relieved when I saw the big yellow bus pull up at the bus stop, shining its painfully bright yellow light through the rain. I did not want to stand any minute longer outside as my coat and backpack got drenched in the pouring rain. The heat of the bus restored some warmth to my face as I took down my hood revealing a messy ponytail I tied in the morning. Just as the bus started to move I took out my book. My parents were few of the only parents who hadn’t given a phone to their 6th-8th graders yet. Meaning I and a very tiny portion of others on the bus were stuck using their computers, reading a book, or doing nothing. And today I decided to read. I was lucky that the person who usually sat in my assigned seat with me decided to go by car this morning, so now I got more room for myself, plus the window seat. I read the final 9 pages of the book as the bus stopped at a red traffic light. I lost interest in my book as I reread the last page, I turned to look out my window which was filled with tiny droplets. I could make out a pedestrian and a dog getting soaked in the rain as they crossed the road onto the street. I always imagined life as a street, like a sidewalk, sometimes bumpy, other times smooth. It is full of twists and turns but it is also straight. My mind wandered as the bus started to move again. I realized that life is a journey of ups and downs, with its fair share of roadblocks and detours. However, it is how we navigate through these obstacles that define us. A bit farther from the traffic light was a group of construction workers working on something on the side of the street. The old bumpy sidewalk was now smooth. Perhaps we can improve our own life like how they are improving the sidewalk. It’ll be a hard and tedious task that might take ages but once we change and get to where we wanted to be, it will be worth it! My face lit up as I thought about this. The rain seemed to be more like a drizzle as the bus stopped in the school parking lot. My backpack felt just a little lighter as I stepped down to campus grounds. I was about to head to class when a spectrum of colors appeared in the distance followed by a lighter spectrum right underneath. A double rainbow!
Her voice sounded like an angel. Her flowy yellow dress made her stand out. If you are passing by, you would see her on a vast platform dancing, every move memorized. You would have seen her singing with such zeal. I stood on the sidewalk below with a slowly forming crowd.
“Go, Sophie!” I called out. A few eyes shifted toward me. Sophie smiled as I tried to slink away to the nearby palmetto. I watched her from the shadows.
I had only met her a month before, but it felt like I had known her much longer. We met on the first day of school – the third day of August. The sun was shining, as I climbed onto the bus. I walked down the aisle, looking for a seat when I saw her. She was wearing ripped jeans and a black graphic T-shirt. With her long blond hair lying straight down her back, she stared outside the window while listening to music through her white earbuds. I didn’t get a clear look at her face, but I knew I had never seen her before. Without thinking, I took a seat next to her. Initially, she did not notice me, but as I took my phone from my pocket, her attention shifted to me. She examined me, from my worn-out sneakers to my brand-new haircut. Looking into my eyes, she gave the slightest hint of a smile. Finally, I got a clear look at her. Her eyes were pretty unusual. One eye was a soft brown, while the other was a shade of blue. Her face appeared almost emotionless.
“Are you new here?” I asked as she was about to turn her head to face the window again. She looked at me confused as if I had just spoken in a foreign language. Then she yanked off one of her earbuds.
“What?” she questioned, her voice soft and gentle.
I repeated my question.
“Yes, my name is Sophie,” she smiled.
“Leo,” I replied, getting ready to exit the bus as it parked in front of the school.
I ran to the music room when I stepped onto the school grounds. The music room had instruments from all over the world. It is my favorite room in the whole school. I would sit on the chair in front of the piano and compose songs until the bell rang. However, when I stepped into the room, I saw someone else sitting in the chair.
“Sophie?” I whispered. She did not notice me. Her eyes were closed, lost in her playing. I watched her for a few minutes before she started to sing. Her voice was mellifluous, and it filled the room with a feeling of peace. I stared at her for a bit more, about to leave when suddenly, the melodious music from the piano stopped. Sophie paused, opened her eyes, and looked at me in surprise. She had her right hand over her heart like she was about to have a heart attack.
“Hey, sorry I scared you, but you’re really talented.” I smiled as she started to relax.
“Thank you…., but please don’t tell anyone what you saw!” she replied quickly and began getting her things.
“I will promise you if you tell me how you got here so fast,” I smirked.
“I used that door” She pointed to a backdoor I had never noticed before, then she ran away to her first period.
Music was the bond between us. Every morning we both would sing and play the instruments in the music room. One day, I was invited over to her house after school. Her house looked like anyone’s home, but when I stepped into her room, it looked a bit less girly than I thought it would be. It had dark blue painted walls and posters of famous singers everywhere. She had a microphone and a karaoke machine in her room. On the opposite side of where I was standing, next to her bed, was a keyboard.
I ran to the keyboard and asked, “Are you interested in becoming a singer?”
She looked at me, and she started nodding and blushing.
“What about you?” she asked.
My fingers lightly touched the keyboard keys as I opened my mouth to speak.
“Me… I want to be a musician, play in front of a huge audience… maybe even sing a few times… I just want to perform.” I replied, turning the keyboard on.
“You are gifted on the ukulele,” she commented as I played a few notes.
“Yeah well I am too shy to perform in front of an audience even though it is my dream, it’s kinda silly I know…” I mumbled.
“Not to me, remember how spooked I was when you first heard me sing? I ran away from the music room the first chance I got.” she chuckled.
I smiled, turning to face her.
“One day we will perform together and get rid of our stage fright!” I promised.
“Deal!” she exclaimed as we ran downstairs.
After that day, every day, I would go to her house. We both would play music and sing in her room until it was time for me to leave. I slowly got to know Sophie’s background. Her mother died when she was 4, so her dad remarried. Her stepmom, unlike Cinderella’s stepmom, is kind and sweet. Sophie had a pet dog named Lola, who died last year of old age. I also learned that she lived in Paris for 14 years before moving here. I had fun playing my ukulele or her keyboard, while she sang into her microphone.
Then one day she decided that she was ready. We had been in her garage when she told me that she was planning to do a serenade downtown. That day, she practiced singing her favorite song while I strummed on my ukulele. Every day after that, our kinship for music grew.
Now, she was standing on a stage singing the song I had heard a million times before, but every lyric seemed brand-new. When the song ended, the huge crowd that gathered cheered.
“Encore!” a man in a white Hawaiian shirt called out.
Sophie smiled, her eyes glittered under the shining sun. I slipped out of the shadows and pushed my way to the front of the crowd.
“Encore!” I yelled with them.
Sophie looked at me and held out her hand. The crowd froze, waiting, watching as she pulled me onto the stage. In the corner was a ukulele. She handed it to me. Together we faced the quiet audience. She started singing as I strummed along. Just as we had practiced. I grinned ear to ear as the others sang along too. This was like a dream come true!
The morning was calm as the sun rose between the mountains. There was nothing Papa ever wanted more than a home in the woods, its silence was soothing to him, unlike the bustle and noise of the city. I preferred the city, the quiet environment of the woods creeped me out. It was winter, the cold air, and white snow. Papa had already driven to work, and my school bus was to arrive soon. I ran out of our small house and looked down at my watch, 7:00. There were still a few more minutes before the bus came. I looked at the tall bare trees around me.
“A small walk wouldn’t be so bad” I mumbled to myself as I walked through a small path behind the house. The snow made a small soft crunching sound underneath my new red boots. A cool breeze swept past me as I walked, and soon the silence was lifted.
“The forest is waking up” Papa had said once when we were exploring one morning.
Sunlight streamed through the trees now. My eyes were drawn to the snow on the ground, as I tucked my hands into my jacket pocket. I did not understand why Papa loved the forest so much, just a bunch of tall trees and small animals. I used to love to take walks around the stores, malls, and theaters around our old home. The stores always had something interesting in their showcase windows. All there was in the woods were trees but there was something comforting about it, maybe that’s why Papa loved the woods so much I wondered as I walked around some more, lost in my thoughts. I went deeper and deeper into the forest, farther and farther from home.
“Growl!”
I shot back to reality. The wind was a slight bit colder, it was snowing. How could I not have noticed that before? I looked around. I have never been to this part of the forest. For how long have I been walking? I looked down at my watch…30 minutes!
I looked around for some signs that would lead me home. That’s what I did back in our old home, when I was ever lost I would either call Papa or I would look for something familiar that would lead me home. Nothing, the woods had nothing, and all the trees looked the same. I reached down into my pockets to grab my phone and use Google Maps, but they were empty. The falling snow covered up my tracks. It felt hopeless. I searched around for a place to sit and soon found a giant rock. I sat down thinking, trying to remember which way I had gone. I felt mad at myself for getting lost.
“Be quiet, listen closely” Papa smiled the day we moved into our cabin, he looked at me and then closed his eyes. I had plastered a fake smile and closed my eyes as he did, but I was not listening. I was listing all the things that could go wrong about Dad and me moving in my head. I rolled my eyes.
“What else did Papa say?” I wondered out loud. I tried clearing my head like Papa had told me to do, so long ago in third grade. I sighed, no idea popped into my head, not what I was expecting. I rolled my eyes again, what now! I sat there feeling cold, mad, and scared.
“Growl!” I heard again.
I glanced around, but nothing. I must be dreaming. Just then in the corner of my eye, I saw something reddish move in the shrubs. I got up and stayed very quiet. I stiffened as the figure moved closer. Quickly I grabbed a stick that was lying around in the snow. The red figure stayed in the shadows, as I planted my feet on the ground. Keeping a close eye on my surroundings. Just then the figure jumped from the bush it was hiding in. It was a small fox. I loosened my grip on my stick. I stared at the fox trying to hide any signs of fear on my face.
The fox sniffed around and then looked up, her beady eyes stared straight into mine. It was like this for a couple of minutes before I blinked. The fox ran away through a small path I did not notice earlier. The path looked familiar somehow. I followed the fox as it took a turn. I tiptoed trying to make the least amount of noise I could. Soon we came to a bunch of trees each marked with a blue arrow pointing right. Papa marked each tree in case we both ever got lost. The fox stood still for some time then she scurried away leaving me alone.
I smiled and followed the marked trees, taking every turn in caution, soon I saw our little cabin. I glanced at my watch again, “8:00” I read. My bus will come at 8:10. I rushed to the bus stop that was a little far from the cabin. Just in time, I thought as the big yellow bus stopped in front of me. I stepped into it, glancing behind, I guess the woods weren’t so bad, and actually, they are pretty exciting.
I am surrounded by a blue sea. Its waves that once were wild are now still. I am away from my family and friends, I have gone far, so far… I could go back to the land, to the soft grass under my bare feet, to the fields of roses and tulips, but no. I have decided to stay, in the middle of a great sea. I dare not go farther. I won’t go back. I remain still in my little boat, deep in thought. I have escaped my troubles, locked them in my chest of worries and problems. I look around my boat and see a fishing rod. I cast it in the waters. As I wait for a bite, I open the chest hesitantly. I instantly drown in my worries. I take one problem out at a time. I sit wondering. Here I am in the middle of a vast sea on an even giant planet in a gigantic universe. My problems suddenly seem so small like it was just an unnoticed scratch. Stronger than ever I opened my chest and dumped my problems all at once. They slowly disappear as I figure out an easy solution to each one. I smile when I pick up the last problem. Suddenly I felt a bite on the fishing rod. I happily pull the hook out of the water. The hook had a big fish. I think of the fish’s family and let it go. I find one more easy solution for the last problem. The heavy chest I had before was now empty and light. My work here is done. I pack up and look around, I smile. I turn the boat to go back home. I say bye, to the sea of thoughts.
I’m lost somewhere, a place I can’t describe. I went far away from the world I loved the most. I went West to East and North to South and this place I found. I’m stuck here with sadness, knowing no one will see or find me. Now tears are rolling down my cheeks. Can someone give me a handkerchief please? I sat here with nothing to do. It’s also awfully so dark, I can’t see you! I feel I’m going to blow in pieces, just wait and see. I’m stuck in this box awaiting, will someone save me from this catastrophe. I wish to only come out of this wicked place and understand how I got here in the first place. I’m sitting in a corner with my eyes closed and thought about how I got into this sticky mess.
Then I took a pencil a very sharp one indeed and a perfect piece of paper you see, and I thought some more and more and opened my eyes the room was no longer dark but bright. I poured out the words from my heart and head on to this piece of paper and realized I’m not WEAK and STUPID. I don’t look WIERD and AWKWARD. There was no more sadness but love. I’m me, a perfect me. Now I know who I am. In fact, every trait and look I have is special. I may be different but not bad. I’m perfect how I am. I have my way; I have my power. And I will always stay like this.
All I needed to do was to look within, and within my love, joy, sadness, and blessing I found the light within me. The doors opened and I was out. The wicked place was gone and no more existed. I felt free, I knew it was all in me. The world I thought was dark, became bright again. I closed my eyes for the last time I remembered the memory lane. I remembered every day when I was happy and sad, and I will never forget this one too. Today I found something, I didn’t know before. And now I’m happy with my inner strength I found. I’m free and so are you and all we have do is look within!
