Forever and ever there is someplace you can fly to. There is a home for you, waiting patiently. All you have to do is find it. There is always a person who is by your side, who will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on. All you have to do is find him/her. Your future is unknown, your past is forgotten, your present is what you want to be. There is a power inside us all. Shining brighter and brighter. All you have to do is activate it. It may take years or maybe just a few days, but in the end, you will find it. You are who you want yourself to be. You can do great things if you wish to. I can’t know your future but all I can say is that sad days will come. Off days and gloomy ones will happen but all you have to do is be strong, and accept what happened even if it is hard to do so. Know your mistakes and move forward. Tomorrow is a brand new start. I will tell you life is not all puppies and rainbows, even though I wish it was. It is an obstacle course. Sometimes you’ll wobble and other times you will find balance. Sometimes you will fall and get back up. But in the end, we all know that you have achieved a lot.
I stood proud and strongTill the wind came that day.It was first a gentle breeze, it barely moved my position,But what came next was beyond my imagination.It was strong, stronger than all our strengths combined,But I held on, I still stood proud.I stood still, but the weaker bent,They turned, they fell, and flew with the wind to their uncertain doom.The next breeze was more of a storm!Even the proudest, the most powerful bent,I held on though, I held strong.I bent and almost fell.The wind pulled me and grabbed onto me like I was a rope in a game of tug-a-war.But I held on, I still stood, but with little hope.I watched in despair as others like my family and friends grew weak,As they too started dancing to the tunes of the wind.What I felt was indescribable, but I had to stand.My body felt weaker as the wind grew with each passing day.Every day more left, and more couldn’t hold on.And soon came my time. I let the wind carry me but not for long.I wiggled and fell free into a green luscious meadow.There I nestled into the dirt.The warmth of the sun and the water from the rain aided me.Now others stand where I once fell, stronger and prouder.
The wind blew, making my hair go haywire as the waves of the water below carried a small boat. In the hurry of the day I lost someone so precious, so wonderful, so cherished that my mind began to go wandering far into the blue-green ocean. I could not hear the gossip and chattering of the voices that surrounded me. All I saw was darkness, and I felt like I was drowning in untouched waters, gasping for air, screaming for help but no one can hear. And if I ever would make it out alive, no one will understand the pain, the amount of fear and terror I bore. No one will know how it feels to feel so weak that you think your soul is going to leave your body. Tears fell from my eyes but no one noticed them. They say they know how it feels, but do they? They say that they have your back but do they? Because if they did, where are they now when I needed them most? I stayed quiet the whole way back from the funeral location, my eyes were glossy. I moved and looked like I was hypnotized for the next following days at least that’s what they told me. They told me for a few days/weeks it will feel weird and depressing, the internet told me it would be like that for 6 months and after that, everything will go back to normal. Like with everything they were wrong. Normal? What is normal without the person you love with your whole heart? How normal is normal if a whole chunk of your life is missing? As I walked down the street, people would whisper, look at me in pity. But I ignored them. Usually in movies, this is the part where the person gives up on living and takes up bad habits but my life was not a movie. I would go through the motions of daily life and then at precisely 6 o’clock I would head to the beach and stare at the water. Just stare as memories flood my mind, how can someone I was hearing and interacting with just a few months ago disappear? I was mad, I was angry. How could the universe take something away from me that was more valuable than gold? Some days I felt weak and powerless, and others I felt like screaming and cursing at the top of my lungs. But no matter how I felt each day would end with me crying my heart out. I didn’t feel like smiling, eating, or going out with friends knowing that the person I thought would be with me forever was gone. I still lived though because many were relying on me like relied on the very person that drifted away from me. As time went on, I learned to live with this empty spot in my heart, I learned to laugh even though deep inside I was crying. I learned to be myself again without the person that kept me going. When people asked as they do, I would share our story. I am old now, my hair is gray, I am close to breathing my last breath, and I find comfort in this because soon I will meet the person I miss so deeply. Nothing is forever even sadness.
I peered out my window as the person in the seat nearby settled into his seat. I was so relieved when I saw the big yellow bus pull up at the bus stop, shining its painfully bright yellow light through the rain. I did not want to stand any minute longer outside as my coat and backpack got drenched in the pouring rain. The heat of the bus restored some warmth to my face as I took down my hood revealing a messy ponytail I tied in the morning. Just as the bus started to move I took out my book. My parents were few of the only parents who hadn’t given a phone to their 6th-8th graders yet. Meaning I and a very tiny portion of others on the bus were stuck using their computers, reading a book, or doing nothing. And today I decided to read. I was lucky that the person who usually sat in my assigned seat with me decided to go by car this morning, so now I got more room for myself, plus the window seat. I read the final 9 pages of the book as the bus stopped at a red traffic light. I lost interest in my book as I reread the last page, I turned to look out my window which was filled with tiny droplets. I could make out a pedestrian and a dog getting soaked in the rain as they crossed the road onto the street. I always imagined life as a street, like a sidewalk, sometimes bumpy, other times smooth. It is full of twists and turns but it is also straight. My mind wandered as the bus started to move again. I realized that life is a journey of ups and downs, with its fair share of roadblocks and detours. However, it is how we navigate through these obstacles that define us. A bit farther from the traffic light was a group of construction workers working on something on the side of the street. The old bumpy sidewalk was now smooth. Perhaps we can improve our own life like how they are improving the sidewalk. It’ll be a hard and tedious task that might take ages but once we change and get to where we wanted to be, it will be worth it! My face lit up as I thought about this. The rain seemed to be more like a drizzle as the bus stopped in the school parking lot. My backpack felt just a little lighter as I stepped down to campus grounds. I was about to head to class when a spectrum of colors appeared in the distance followed by a lighter spectrum right underneath. A double rainbow!
Her voice sounded like an angel. Her flowy yellow dress made her stand out. If you are passing by, you would see her on a vast platform dancing, every move memorized. You would have seen her singing with such zeal. I stood on the sidewalk below with a slowly forming crowd.
“Go, Sophie!” I called out. A few eyes shifted toward me. Sophie smiled as I tried to slink away to the nearby palmetto. I watched her from the shadows.
I had only met her a month before, but it felt like I had known her much longer. We met on the first day of school – the third day of August. The sun was shining, as I climbed onto the bus. I walked down the aisle, looking for a seat when I saw her. She was wearing ripped jeans and a black graphic T-shirt. With her long blond hair lying straight down her back, she stared outside the window while listening to music through her white earbuds. I didn’t get a clear look at her face, but I knew I had never seen her before. Without thinking, I took a seat next to her. Initially, she did not notice me, but as I took my phone from my pocket, her attention shifted to me. She examined me, from my worn-out sneakers to my brand-new haircut. Looking into my eyes, she gave the slightest hint of a smile. Finally, I got a clear look at her. Her eyes were pretty unusual. One eye was a soft brown, while the other was a shade of blue. Her face appeared almost emotionless.
“Are you new here?” I asked as she was about to turn her head to face the window again. She looked at me confused as if I had just spoken in a foreign language. Then she yanked off one of her earbuds.
“What?” she questioned, her voice soft and gentle.
I repeated my question.
“Yes, my name is Sophie,” she smiled.
“Leo,” I replied, getting ready to exit the bus as it parked in front of the school.
I ran to the music room when I stepped onto the school grounds. The music room had instruments from all over the world. It is my favorite room in the whole school. I would sit on the chair in front of the piano and compose songs until the bell rang. However, when I stepped into the room, I saw someone else sitting in the chair.
“Sophie?” I whispered. She did not notice me. Her eyes were closed, lost in her playing. I watched her for a few minutes before she started to sing. Her voice was mellifluous, and it filled the room with a feeling of peace. I stared at her for a bit more, about to leave when suddenly, the melodious music from the piano stopped. Sophie paused, opened her eyes, and looked at me in surprise. She had her right hand over her heart like she was about to have a heart attack.
“Hey, sorry I scared you, but you’re really talented.” I smiled as she started to relax.
“Thank you…., but please don’t tell anyone what you saw!” she replied quickly and began getting her things.
“I will promise you if you tell me how you got here so fast,” I smirked.
“I used that door” She pointed to a backdoor I had never noticed before, then she ran away to her first period.
Music was the bond between us. Every morning we both would sing and play the instruments in the music room. One day, I was invited over to her house after school. Her house looked like anyone’s home, but when I stepped into her room, it looked a bit less girly than I thought it would be. It had dark blue painted walls and posters of famous singers everywhere. She had a microphone and a karaoke machine in her room. On the opposite side of where I was standing, next to her bed, was a keyboard.
I ran to the keyboard and asked, “Are you interested in becoming a singer?”
She looked at me, and she started nodding and blushing.
“What about you?” she asked.
My fingers lightly touched the keyboard keys as I opened my mouth to speak.
“Me… I want to be a musician, play in front of a huge audience… maybe even sing a few times… I just want to perform.” I replied, turning the keyboard on.
“You are gifted on the ukulele,” she commented as I played a few notes.
“Yeah well I am too shy to perform in front of an audience even though it is my dream, it’s kinda silly I know…” I mumbled.
“Not to me, remember how spooked I was when you first heard me sing? I ran away from the music room the first chance I got.” she chuckled.
I smiled, turning to face her.
“One day we will perform together and get rid of our stage fright!” I promised.
“Deal!” she exclaimed as we ran downstairs.
After that day, every day, I would go to her house. We both would play music and sing in her room until it was time for me to leave. I slowly got to know Sophie’s background. Her mother died when she was 4, so her dad remarried. Her stepmom, unlike Cinderella’s stepmom, is kind and sweet. Sophie had a pet dog named Lola, who died last year of old age. I also learned that she lived in Paris for 14 years before moving here. I had fun playing my ukulele or her keyboard, while she sang into her microphone.
Then one day she decided that she was ready. We had been in her garage when she told me that she was planning to do a serenade downtown. That day, she practiced singing her favorite song while I strummed on my ukulele. Every day after that, our kinship for music grew.
Now, she was standing on a stage singing the song I had heard a million times before, but every lyric seemed brand-new. When the song ended, the huge crowd that gathered cheered.
“Encore!” a man in a white Hawaiian shirt called out.
Sophie smiled, her eyes glittered under the shining sun. I slipped out of the shadows and pushed my way to the front of the crowd.
“Encore!” I yelled with them.
Sophie looked at me and held out her hand. The crowd froze, waiting, watching as she pulled me onto the stage. In the corner was a ukulele. She handed it to me. Together we faced the quiet audience. She started singing as I strummed along. Just as we had practiced. I grinned ear to ear as the others sang along too. This was like a dream come true!
The sun is about to set, the day is about to be over. The colors pink, blue, purple, orange and slight yellow fill the sky. The faraway sounds of chatter start to fade over the crashes of the ocean waves that crash over the shore. The hot sand under my feet is now cold as I take off my sun hat. The cool air sways my hair. I take some more steps before taking a seat and while I walk, thoughts swirl through my head. The beach is empty except the few people I have left behind that are now disappearing in the view. I take a seat on top of a huge rock and watch the ocean, the waves, the sky and think….
What is life?
Why am I here?
What is the connection between me and the world?
I watched the ocean waves crash onto the shore leaving the treasures of faraway places on the sand. The seagulls over my head start flying towards the sun. I smile when a tiny spark catches my eyes, I run to see what it is. A small white pebble laid there on the soft sand. How can this little thing be so bright from faraway?
I held the beautiful stone, I held it close to my heart, closed my eyes, and thought of nothing except the light of the white sparkling pebble and suddenly I felt the glow of the pebble. My tired and weak legs felt strong, my sleepy brain felt wide awake and healthy. I felt that the pebble was part of me like my hands and legs my nose and mouth, but stronger. I felt refreshed, more positive, and calm. I felt like I could do anything. I felt like I was more than who I thought I was, and I know I am part of something big.
I opened my eyes and smiled as I looked at the vast ocean once more and walked my way back home with the stone in my hands.
I’m lost somewhere, a place I can’t describe. I went far away from the world I loved the most. I went West to East and North to South and this place I found. I’m stuck here with sadness, knowing no one will see or find me. Now tears are rolling down my cheeks. Can someone give me a handkerchief please? I sat here with nothing to do. It’s also awfully so dark, I can’t see you! I feel I’m going to blow in pieces, just wait and see. I’m stuck in this box awaiting, will someone save me from this catastrophe. I wish to only come out of this wicked place and understand how I got here in the first place. I’m sitting in a corner with my eyes closed and thought about how I got into this sticky mess.
Then I took a pencil a very sharp one indeed and a perfect piece of paper you see, and I thought some more and more and opened my eyes the room was no longer dark but bright. I poured out the words from my heart and head on to this piece of paper and realized I’m not WEAK and STUPID. I don’t look WIERD and AWKWARD. There was no more sadness but love. I’m me, a perfect me. Now I know who I am. In fact, every trait and look I have is special. I may be different but not bad. I’m perfect how I am. I have my way; I have my power. And I will always stay like this.
All I needed to do was to look within, and within my love, joy, sadness, and blessing I found the light within me. The doors opened and I was out. The wicked place was gone and no more existed. I felt free, I knew it was all in me. The world I thought was dark, became bright again. I closed my eyes for the last time I remembered the memory lane. I remembered every day when I was happy and sad, and I will never forget this one too. Today I found something, I didn’t know before. And now I’m happy with my inner strength I found. I’m free and so are you and all we have do is look within!
