Remorse
I hope
It won’t hurt
To burn the memories of the moments
I died to live once.
~ A
PS: Thanks Sruthi for the opportunity to pen down a post on your blog. Doing it for the first time and it felt nice. Thank you.
Infinite stairs
A staircase with infinite stairs
Some are soft and make you smile
Some are hard and some are made from tile
Some stairs have nails poking your feet
Others have hot coal…so hot that it could cook meat
Some stairs were long and others were short
After climbing a few stairs the staircase would split into two
Then comes a decision on which one to choose
This staircase reaches higher than the Earth to Mars
But no one has ever been able to get that far
What is at the end of the stairs is unknown
But whenever, and wherever you stop a prize is definitely shown.
A prize that is not based on how much you climbed or how fast it took
but a prize for the actions you took
on the way to get to where you now stood
Few poems
Hardworking Sun
The Sun was bright, it shined with all its might.
The children laughed and played,
while the old man lay under the shade.
He smiled at the sun for all that it had done!
Swings
Birds tweet as I take a seat,
I fly through the air with my waving hair.
I hold on to the chain as I close my eyes,
What a time I had on this ride!
Sad
The wind blew, making my hair go haywire as the waves of the water below carried a small boat. In the hurry of the day I lost someone so precious, so wonderful, so cherished that my mind began to go wandering far into the blue-green ocean. I could not hear the gossip and chattering of the voices that surrounded me. All I saw was darkness, and I felt like I was drowning in untouched waters, gasping for air, screaming for help but no one can hear. And if I ever would make it out alive, no one will understand the pain, the amount of fear and terror I bore. No one will know how it feels to feel so weak that you think your soul is going to leave your body. Tears fell from my eyes but no one noticed them. They say they know how it feels, but do they? They say that they have your back but do they? Because if they did, where are they now when I needed them most? I stayed quiet the whole way back from the funeral location, my eyes were glossy. I moved and looked like I was hypnotized for the next following days at least that’s what they told me. They told me for a few days/weeks it will feel weird and depressing, the internet told me it would be like that for 6 months and after that, everything will go back to normal. Like with everything they were wrong. Normal? What is normal without the person you love with your whole heart? How normal is normal if a whole chunk of your life is missing? As I walked down the street, people would whisper, look at me in pity. But I ignored them. Usually in movies, this is the part where the person gives up on living and takes up bad habits but my life was not a movie. I would go through the motions of daily life and then at precisely 6 o’clock I would head to the beach and stare at the water. Just stare as memories flood my mind, how can someone I was hearing and interacting with just a few months ago disappear? I was mad, I was angry. How could the universe take something away from me that was more valuable than gold? Some days I felt weak and powerless, and others I felt like screaming and cursing at the top of my lungs. But no matter how I felt each day would end with me crying my heart out. I didn’t feel like smiling, eating, or going out with friends knowing that the person I thought would be with me forever was gone. I still lived though because many were relying on me like relied on the very person that drifted away from me. As time went on, I learned to live with this empty spot in my heart, I learned to laugh even though deep inside I was crying. I learned to be myself again without the person that kept me going. When people asked as they do, I would share our story. I am old now, my hair is gray, I am close to breathing my last breath, and I find comfort in this because soon I will meet the person I miss so deeply. Nothing is forever even sadness.
App Review | WordUp(Vocab Builder)
Attention all Readers and Writers. In today’s world, it is hard to grow up not knowing at least some simple phrases or words in English. But no matter how well you write and speak this global language, even if you are a native speaker there will always be a couple of words that you miss. But no one wants to go and carry a dictionary or thesaurus around during work/school/or even a conversation. Ok so you have your phone with you, that is Great…Until it runs out of battery! So how do you learn words and phrases that best suit you and your daily life and interests? Well, there are hundred different ways, but what seems to be a public favorite is Wordup. Wordup is a fun and easy-to-install app on your phone and is available on google play and the Apple App Store and has 5 million+ downloads and users.
How does Wordup work?
Wordup starts by asking you simple questions like your age range, why you want to improve your English, your favorite topics, and your field of work. Then it gathers all that information and makes something they call a Knowledge Map using the words that are most important in your life. Once you mark words you know, it will help you learn the meanings of words that you don’t know using fun quotes, dictionary definitions, pictures, and fun youtube videos. The app lets you chat with AI forms of celebrities and public figures to help your English be top-notch. This app even has a feature where it will give you feedback on your writing.
Pros and Cons
This may be the most fun English learning app using AI and other tools I have come across. In my opinion, this app is the best to learn English especially if you live in a non English speaking country. A small problem with the app is that many features that you rely upon to help you get better are limited for some time, if you are using the free version. For example, with the free version, with the AI celebrities messaging feature you can only send up to 20 messages. Also, the app has this review feature where you go over words that you learned the previous day. In this feature you have 3 hearts, and you lose a heart each time you mess up a word while you are reviewing. When you lose all three, there is no way to get them back unless you wait until the next day, have the pro version, or you learn 100 new words. This I can understand can get on people’s nerves when all they are trying to do is practice words they already know. Another problem is that the app does not have a free offline version, to get the offline version you would need to upgrade to pro. On the bright side, this app has won many awards and has helped many develop their English speaking and writing skills.
Summary
In conclusion, Wordup is an innovative and engaging app that offers a unique approach to English language learning. By tailoring its content to individual users’ preferences and interests, it provides a personalized learning experience that is both effective and enjoyable. The app’s features, such as fun quotes, dictionary definitions, and interactive videos, make the process of learning new words and phrases exciting and interactive. Additionally, the ability to chat with AI forms of celebrities and public figures adds a touch of realism and practicality to the learning experience. While the free version of the app may have some limitations, Wordup’s overall benefits outweigh these minor drawbacks. The app’s success in helping non-native English speakers, especially those living in non-English speaking countries, is a testament to its effectiveness. With its numerous awards and positive reviews, Wordup has established itself as a leading tool for enhancing English speaking and writing skills.
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A Summer Day to Remember
“NOOOO!” Kaylee cried. My face turned into one of those shiny red fuji apples that were currently on display in the fresh produce section near me. All I wanted this summer was a job where I could earn some cash. But little sister Kaylee had to ruin everything!
School ended two weeks ago and that’s how long it took me to spend all my allowance for the whole of summer. But it wasn’t my fault that there were a bunch of cute and stylish outfits on sale. Even now as my bratty little sister cried her head off…I looked gorgeous. I pretty much slayed in my brand new white ripped jeans, crop top, and the perfect Drop Shoulder Drawstring Crop Hoodie to go on top. I mean I did not look like a model or anything, you can’t look like a model if you have freckles covering your whole face, red hair, and green eyes, but it was a major wardrobe improvement over my sweatpants and an old worn-out vintage t-shirt. I went into shopping spree mode when I saw the outfits on display and totally forgot about the tax. Now I am broke with no money for anything else this summer. Which is why I spent all morning clicking on every link I could find for summer jobs. I almost screamed when I found a job at the local grocery store within walkable distance, had the most basic qualifications, and was paying 20 dollars an hour! I grabbed my Converse immediately ready to snatch the job before anyone else could. But my “considerate“ mother had to make me babysit one of the worst creatures that ever walked the planet… 5-year-old sisters. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom but why did she have to make ME take care of Kaylee?!
To be honest, Kaylee isn’t a demon, I bet I was really annoying when I was her age. But she’s been acting extra annoying since last week. She chipped my mom’s favorite statue, “accidentally” ran over my dad’s garden, and randomly cut one of my favorite shirts up saying that she was making it look better. Now there was this. She promised me and not just promised me, she pinky swore that she would not make a scene, be quiet, and listen to me the whole time until my interview was done and we were home. But right when they were about to call my name for the interview she spied in the distance an abandoned elephant plushie on one of the shelves.
“Kaylee…come on…you have a bunch of toys at home! Like that platypus stuffy!” I whispered to her, holding her hand tightly, “STOP making a scene now…if I get this job I promise I will buy you one!”
It felt hopeless even if she calmed down there was no way they would give me the job after this! This was so unprofessional. I looked around me at a bunch of strangers, some had a look of pity, and others just stared in awe. As I was about to rush me and Kaylee out of the store I noticed in the corner of my eyes a mum holding onto her child’s hand and looking at Kaylee as if she was a monster.
Then she mouthed the words “She is crazy!”
I got down to Kaylee’s height. My sister was Not Crazy and she would not cry without reason.
“What happened, why do you want THAT plushie soo much?” I asked her calmly. She stopped and looked at me so seriously that I thought we were going to discuss a business deal.
“I heard that exact plushie will grant you 3 wishes if you ask it nicely and I want Mom and Dad to be together again” She explained as if it was obvious. Our parents divorced during the school year, at the end of February. I wasn’t really surprised because of how much they fought, but still, it crushed my heart when they told us. But every other weekend we switch and they still talk on the phone sometimes as friends, so it really wasn’t so bad. But I totally forgot how Kaylee was handling all of this.
“Where did you hear that exactly?” I said looking her straight in the eyes.
“In either a youtube short or TikTok, when I stole your phone” she replied looking impatient.
I tried to hold it in but after looking at her for a few more seconds I busted out laughing. If people thought Kaylee was crazy then they would think our whole family was psychos. When I finally could calm down I smiled at her and held her hand more loosely.
“After my interview, I promise you ice cream and that plushie” I smirked getting up to face the employee in front of me.
“ I am ready for my interview, but could you watch her for a bit,” I asked little more relaxed as the crowd that gathered around me a few moments ago disappeared.
“No need, you are Hired! We have never seen someone handle a child that smoothly. Maybe it took some time but I am sure you will be a valuable employee. We need someone who understands kids and can be calm in difficult situations” she exclaimed in delight.
She shifted the wooden clipboard from one arm to another and stretched out her free hand in front of me. I immediately shook it. After we discussed boring job details like when I would be starting, Kaylee, I, and that elephant plushie(Which I got for free!) left the store and headed down to the ice cream store around the corner.
Kaylee excitedly swung her legs under the table as she licked her cookies & cream with an extra scoop of cookie dough. Luckily I had two gift cards for this ice cream store or I could not afford that.
“I have a question, Kaylee,” I asked, my smiling face turned a little more serious
“Yeah, what? ” she replied as the ice cream started to drip
“Why did you chip Mom’s vase and run over Dad’s garden?…you know those are very important to them” I questioned even though I think I know why now.
“Because….because…I thought that if Mom and Dad think that I was turning into a bad kid when they are separated then they would get back together to make me into a good kid.” she explained after some hesitation.
I grabbed a couple of napkins and wiped the sticky vanilla ice cream off her face.
“It was a good try, but they are divorced for a reason ” I sighed
Kaylee just stared at me, as she finished the cone.
“Let’s go home..” I smiled as I helped her out of her tall chair.
When we got home, the lights were dark and Kaylee ran inside. My hand searched for the switch.
“Wall, Wall, Wall, more wall, finally Switch!” I exclaimed the same moment the light turned on and a bunch of people Shouted “Happy Birthday !”
The room stared at me and the only noise I could hear was the beating of my fast heart.
“OMG…when did y’all come here…Aunt Jane! Uncle Mike! dad? ” I said looking around the room.
“Hey, kiddo!” he smiled as he pulled me in for a bear hug.
When he let go, I was just confused.
“Don’t tell me you forgot” my mom laughed as she walked me inside the house. Everything was covered in decorations. Balloons covered the floor.
“It is my birthday?” I asked stupidly
“Of course, it is dear” Aunt Jane replaced sharing a look with my mom.
I felt so embarrassed, more embarrassed than when Kaylee was screaming in the grocery store a few moments ago. How did I forget MY birthday?
Hours later, after everybody left. I got up from my cozy spot on the sofa and grabbed another slice of cake. Kaylee who was staring at my huge pile of presents decided that she could not wait any longer, and grabbed the biggest one.
“Open it!” she cried in anticipation
“Ok..ok” I giggled tearing up the wrapping paper
The first thing I saw was a golden frame, was it a painting?
I tore more of the wrapping paper this time more carefully. What I saw next made my eyes fill up with tears. Dad kept his hand on my shoulder.
“I and your mom are not going to get back together but I want you to have a picture of your original family” he corrected as I gently place the picture on the ground.
“Where should I keep it?” I asked looking at Mom.
“Where ever you like,” she said smiling at dad
“Thank you, Jim” She waved as Dad left the house.
“See you next week, kiddoes,” he replied giving me and Kaylee a wave.
I smiled, looking back at the frame, “I know exactly where to keep you!”
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Book Review | The Cousins
The Cousins, written by New York Times bestselling author Karen M. McManus, is a thrilling and suspenseful novel. It explores the secrets and mysteries of a wealthy family with a dark past. The story follows three cousins – Milly, Aubrey, and Jonah Story – who are invited to spend the summer on their grandmother’s island resort, despite never having met her or each other before. Their parents are all clear on one point–not going is not an option. All the parents are interested in is getting back into their mom’s good graces and this might be their only chance. But it turns out life has another plan for this family tree. As soon as the Story kids arrive on the island they start uncovering a tangled web of lies, betrayals, and long-buried secrets that have been tearing the family apart for years.
Characters
McManus expertly spins a long tale of family drama and mystery, with twists and turns that will keep the reader on the edge of their seat. While this story is only 336 pages long it still allows for a lot of emotional depth and character development. The creative characters each have their own unique personalities, motivations, weaknesses, strengths, and most importantly, secrets. Any reader will become more engrossed in the story due to the crazy family dynamics and relationships.
Setting and themes
Despite the beachy setting, this book has some dark undertones. What seems like an idyllic location to spend the summer is actually a mask for the crazy things that take place in the story. The island is merely a cover-up for the mystery, unease, and danger beneath the picturesque scenery. While The Cousins is mainly just a frightening mystery novel it also explores themes such as family, identity, and loyalty. The novel makes you question the nature of family and how much you will sacrifice to help someone that shares your own blood.
Dislikes and Likes
In my opinion, the book could have had more of a suspense and mystery element. The many twists were interesting and made you want to keep reading but they were also kind of random and some did not add much to the story. The book was also very slow-paced and things did not start getting really interesting until the last few chapters. I actually fell asleep a lot trying to read this book because some chapters were…I wouldn’t say boring but just lacked a bit of suspense.
Many mystery books I have read before (These were not Young Adults) had a bit more of a mystery factor than its book but other than that I actually enjoyed reading it. One of the main reasons I think is that I am used to reading and writing realistic and fantasy fiction stories. This book was one of my first books in the Young Adult Mystery Thriller genre. Being one of my first books it gave me a good understanding of what other books in this genre might be like. Also, it gave me an excellent introduction to the category in general. I also liked it because the characters were very deep. Although some relationships in the story seemed a little forced (*cough* Especially the romance between Jonah and Millly *cough* you’ll understand if you read the book *cough * Also I think I might have a cold) many interactions between characters were nice and were written in a realistic way.
Summary
Overall, The Cousins is a gripping and nicely crafted read that will appeal to many beginning fans of mystery and suspense. Our bestselling author Karen M. McManus has crafted a compelling story with well-imagined and planned-out characters and a richly detailed setting that affects the story in many ways. The novel is certainly a thrilling read for anyone who is new to the Young Adult mystery genre like me! If you are a huge fan of this author, you should certainly read this book. This book has sadly disappointed some fans of mysteries who have decided to try the book out because of its rave reviews. However, there are also many who love it. I’m in between loving it and hating it. This book may not be my favorite novel but it is really fun to read. It is definitely an awesome book to keep in mind when trying to find an enjoyable book.
Sources
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A Journey of Ups and Downs
I peered out my window as the person in the seat nearby settled into his seat. I was so relieved when I saw the big yellow bus pull up at the bus stop, shining its painfully bright yellow light through the rain. I did not want to stand any minute longer outside as my coat and backpack got drenched in the pouring rain. The heat of the bus restored some warmth to my face as I took down my hood revealing a messy ponytail I tied in the morning. Just as the bus started to move I took out my book. My parents were few of the only parents who hadn’t given a phone to their 6th-8th graders yet. Meaning I and a very tiny portion of others on the bus were stuck using their computers, reading a book, or doing nothing. And today I decided to read. I was lucky that the person who usually sat in my assigned seat with me decided to go by car this morning, so now I got more room for myself, plus the window seat. I read the final 9 pages of the book as the bus stopped at a red traffic light. I lost interest in my book as I reread the last page, I turned to look out my window which was filled with tiny droplets. I could make out a pedestrian and a dog getting soaked in the rain as they crossed the road onto the street. I always imagined life as a street, like a sidewalk, sometimes bumpy, other times smooth. It is full of twists and turns but it is also straight. My mind wandered as the bus started to move again. I realized that life is a journey of ups and downs, with its fair share of roadblocks and detours. However, it is how we navigate through these obstacles that define us. A bit farther from the traffic light was a group of construction workers working on something on the side of the street. The old bumpy sidewalk was now smooth. Perhaps we can improve our own life like how they are improving the sidewalk. It’ll be a hard and tedious task that might take ages but once we change and get to where we wanted to be, it will be worth it! My face lit up as I thought about this. The rain seemed to be more like a drizzle as the bus stopped in the school parking lot. My backpack felt just a little lighter as I stepped down to campus grounds. I was about to head to class when a spectrum of colors appeared in the distance followed by a lighter spectrum right underneath. A double rainbow!
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The Start of Something Great
When the creator first started, I was a pile of mush, a splatter of something that wasn’t defined yet. I was blank, but I knew I was the beginning of something meaningful, but what? What was I supposed to be? I was hungry for something to feed my shapeless body. So the creator fed me, and I slowly got a few angles and corners. But I was still hungry, my embodiment wanted more of this magic mixture. So the creator gave me some more. Slowly I felt a tingle. My undefinable self looked more familiar to the eyes that surrounded me. The blob features and crazy angles I had before took on different shapes. But still, it wasn’t enough. I wanted more so the creator took a moment and stared into my hollow soul. He/she then dug around in his/her pockets and pulled out random items from his/her hat, but nothing he/she found pleased him/her. Until the creator found a bag that shined brighter than a light bulb. Inside was a string, a wisp of something yummy, something that looked amazing, and one of a kind. Each wisp had a different color and a different vibe. And the creator fed me this sweet string. Soon I felt my body, and the shapes that made it up became more connected and more composed. I had turned into something different. I was no longer a blob or a collection of figures. I was something more. The Creator fed me more and more wisps all of which tasted different but equally delicious. I was turning into something amazing. But my soul still felt hollow. I had a thirst for something euphoric. Then the creator poured something into my essence that made it no longer empty but filled with buzz, and energy. I felt that finally I had come to life. Color filled my lungs and mind. Now I can speak and communicate my meaning. I was now enlighted about my purpose in this world that was taking shape and color. The creator smiled at me. I looked around, there were more like me but we didn’t all look the same, or do the same thing. However, I could see that we all started the same way. We all were once blobs without a shape, soul, or mind. However, as our journey began we began changing in different ways that made each one of us unique. The Creator told us that we weren’t flawless, and weren’t what he/she had in mind initially. Nevertheless, he/she was happy with the outcome, and so were we. I looked out to my peers, and together we all shared a smile and we thanked the creator for giving us shape, soul, and a mind.
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A Friendship Forged Through Music
Her voice sounded like an angel. Her flowy yellow dress made her stand out. If you are passing by, you would see her on a vast platform dancing, every move memorized. You would have seen her singing with such zeal. I stood on the sidewalk below with a slowly forming crowd.
“Go, Sophie!” I called out. A few eyes shifted toward me. Sophie smiled as I tried to slink away to the nearby palmetto. I watched her from the shadows.
I had only met her a month before, but it felt like I had known her much longer. We met on the first day of school – the third day of August. The sun was shining, as I climbed onto the bus. I walked down the aisle, looking for a seat when I saw her. She was wearing ripped jeans and a black graphic T-shirt. With her long blond hair lying straight down her back, she stared outside the window while listening to music through her white earbuds. I didn’t get a clear look at her face, but I knew I had never seen her before. Without thinking, I took a seat next to her. Initially, she did not notice me, but as I took my phone from my pocket, her attention shifted to me. She examined me, from my worn-out sneakers to my brand-new haircut. Looking into my eyes, she gave the slightest hint of a smile. Finally, I got a clear look at her. Her eyes were pretty unusual. One eye was a soft brown, while the other was a shade of blue. Her face appeared almost emotionless.
“Are you new here?” I asked as she was about to turn her head to face the window again. She looked at me confused as if I had just spoken in a foreign language. Then she yanked off one of her earbuds.
“What?” she questioned, her voice soft and gentle.
I repeated my question.
“Yes, my name is Sophie,” she smiled.
“Leo,” I replied, getting ready to exit the bus as it parked in front of the school.
I ran to the music room when I stepped onto the school grounds. The music room had instruments from all over the world. It is my favorite room in the whole school. I would sit on the chair in front of the piano and compose songs until the bell rang. However, when I stepped into the room, I saw someone else sitting in the chair.
“Sophie?” I whispered. She did not notice me. Her eyes were closed, lost in her playing. I watched her for a few minutes before she started to sing. Her voice was mellifluous, and it filled the room with a feeling of peace. I stared at her for a bit more, about to leave when suddenly, the melodious music from the piano stopped. Sophie paused, opened her eyes, and looked at me in surprise. She had her right hand over her heart like she was about to have a heart attack.
“Hey, sorry I scared you, but you’re really talented.” I smiled as she started to relax.
“Thank you…., but please don’t tell anyone what you saw!” she replied quickly and began getting her things.
“I will promise you if you tell me how you got here so fast,” I smirked.
“I used that door” She pointed to a backdoor I had never noticed before, then she ran away to her first period.
Music was the bond between us. Every morning we both would sing and play the instruments in the music room. One day, I was invited over to her house after school. Her house looked like anyone’s home, but when I stepped into her room, it looked a bit less girly than I thought it would be. It had dark blue painted walls and posters of famous singers everywhere. She had a microphone and a karaoke machine in her room. On the opposite side of where I was standing, next to her bed, was a keyboard.
I ran to the keyboard and asked, “Are you interested in becoming a singer?”
She looked at me, and she started nodding and blushing.
“What about you?” she asked.
My fingers lightly touched the keyboard keys as I opened my mouth to speak.
“Me… I want to be a musician, play in front of a huge audience… maybe even sing a few times… I just want to perform.” I replied, turning the keyboard on.
“You are gifted on the ukulele,” she commented as I played a few notes.
“Yeah well I am too shy to perform in front of an audience even though it is my dream, it’s kinda silly I know…” I mumbled.
“Not to me, remember how spooked I was when you first heard me sing? I ran away from the music room the first chance I got.” she chuckled.
I smiled, turning to face her.
“One day we will perform together and get rid of our stage fright!” I promised.
“Deal!” she exclaimed as we ran downstairs.
After that day, every day, I would go to her house. We both would play music and sing in her room until it was time for me to leave. I slowly got to know Sophie’s background. Her mother died when she was 4, so her dad remarried. Her stepmom, unlike Cinderella’s stepmom, is kind and sweet. Sophie had a pet dog named Lola, who died last year of old age. I also learned that she lived in Paris for 14 years before moving here. I had fun playing my ukulele or her keyboard, while she sang into her microphone.
Then one day she decided that she was ready. We had been in her garage when she told me that she was planning to do a serenade downtown. That day, she practiced singing her favorite song while I strummed on my ukulele. Every day after that, our kinship for music grew.
Now, she was standing on a stage singing the song I had heard a million times before, but every lyric seemed brand-new. When the song ended, the huge crowd that gathered cheered.
“Encore!” a man in a white Hawaiian shirt called out.
Sophie smiled, her eyes glittered under the shining sun. I slipped out of the shadows and pushed my way to the front of the crowd.
“Encore!” I yelled with them.
Sophie looked at me and held out her hand. The crowd froze, waiting, watching as she pulled me onto the stage. In the corner was a ukulele. She handed it to me. Together we faced the quiet audience. She started singing as I strummed along. Just as we had practiced. I grinned ear to ear as the others sang along too. This was like a dream come true!
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